Bleached White
by lishyu
Summary: Luffy angst. Never thought it would happen... In the snowy abyss of Drum.


Disclaimer: I Don't own One Piece. I do own this writing however. That and my twisted imagination. Somehow I managed to make Luffy angsty... thought it would be impossible. I'm sorry Luffy~ This isn't you! ...oh well. (shrugs)  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
[ Bleached white ]  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
- Don¡¯t die  
  
  
  
Snow sipped deep into his fingernails. Blood dripped onto and dyed a scarlet blossom.  
  
  
  
- Please don¡¯t die  
  
  
  
He knew this would happen, of course.  
There were many things in life he loved. Dreams. Will. Comrades. But above all, the sea.  
  
  
  
- The sea will betray me. My dream will ultimately take away everything from me.  
  
  
  
But he couldn¡¯t give up. Never. White death piled up higher and higher around him, but he kept on digging.  
  
Deeper  
  
Deeper  
  
  
  
He loved the sea. Sitting at the very spot where he could greet the new waters, the unexplored world head on, before anybody else¡¦ he will plunge himself into that endless depth. Dream. Hope.  
There he will drown.  
For he may love the sea with all his heart, but the sea will never accept him. It will simply smother him with hopes and dreams, and then slowly suffocate him to his death.  
He will die smiling.  
  
  
  
- I can¡¯t stop. Not now, not ever.  
  
  
  
His ¡®hole¡¯ has become as wide as a lake and about as deep as one, but Luffy still could not find life. Blinding whiteness was threatening to drive him over the edge.  
  
  
  
- Don¡¯t die. Don¡¯t die. I order you not to die. I order nobody to die. I¡¯m your captain, aren¡¯t I? You can¡¯t die without my permission. You can¡¯t die before I do.  
  
  
  
Solid. His fingers had lost feeling long ago, but Luffy grasped onto that flash of red. Muttering the person¡¯s name through his chattering lips, he began to dig around that spot of red.  
  
  
- I need everybody for my dream. I need everybody to survive. I can¡¯t cope with any more burdens. I can¡¯t fulfill anybody else¡¯s dreams for them anymore.  
- One is more than I can bear already.  
  
  
This was just a portent. Snow. Endless sky, horizon filled with death-white snow.  
He loved it. Now Sanji will die because of it.  
He loved the sea. It will swallow himself in the end. With luck, it may even take along everybody he held dear.  
He hated it. He hated snow. He hated this cold. He hated being alone, and above all he hated himself.  
  
His weakness. His dream. His hopes.  
  
  
- Don¡¯t die.  
  
  
Why did it¡¦ no, how did it change?  
At first he simply required comrades in order to become the Pirate King.  
Crewmates he could rely on. Crewmates he could aim for the same horizon with. Crewmates he could share his hopes and dreams with, just like with Shanks.  
Shanks. His sacrifice. His burden to bear.  
He had to become the Pirate King.  
  
But now¡¦ now¡¦ his goal became distorted. It wasn¡¯t just ¡®the Pirate King¡¯ anymore. It was ¡®to become the Pirate King with his friends¡¯.  
His dream became meaningless if it didn¡¯t include these perfect strangers.  
  
  
Sanji was pale. Blue lips and ashen face¡¦ blood seemed to freeze into crystalline marbles as soon as it rolled across the glacial atmosphere.  
  
  
- Don¡¯t die.  
  
  
But he knew that some death was inevitable.  
  
  
- My dream.  
  
  
He knew that he had to force some sacrifices.  
  
  
- They include you guys now. And I need to fulfill them.  
  
  
Wasn¡¯t he just using them in order to fulfill his dream¡¦?  
  
He needed crewmates in order to become the Pirate King. He needed strong comrades in order to obtain One Piece. His dream needed ? no, required, sacrifices. His dream required death.  
  
  
- I won¡¯t ask for forgiveness.  
  
  
  
- I will become the Pirate King.  
- I will obtain One Piece.  
- Then I will abandon all my friends and choose a place and time for my own death.  
  
- Just like the last Pirate King.  
  
  
Maybe it will be in the hands of the Marine, just like the last time.  
Or maybe it will be by the swords of his enemies - with blood on his body and his flag flying high.  
Or maybe it will be in the embrace of the deep sea, falling down into that endless depth while dreaming to the very last end.  
  
  
No matter. It will all be in the hands of the sea. The sea he so loves and adores.  
  
  
  
- But not now. Not here. Sanji can¡¯t die here. Nami can¡¯t die here. They can¡¯t abandon their dreams. Just as I can¡¯t abandon mine.  
  
  
  
¡°Sanji¡¦¡±  
  
Embracing the stiff figure with one hand, he reached for the twisted tree branches high above.  
  
- I know you guys won¡¯t understand.  
  
Small gasps chipped through the glacial atmosphere. Hurling Nami over his back with much effort, Luffy began his slow ascend up the mountain hill.  
  
  
- I know you guys won¡¯t forgive my decision  
  
  
He had forced his way through so many things.  
  
  
- I know you guys will declare it stubborn foolishness. Unreasonable. Irrational.  
  
  
Will they cry¡¦?  
  
Will they remember?  
  
  
  
Did it matter?  
  
  
  
  
¡°Sorry¡¦¡±  
  
  
Smiling vainly, he looked up into the glaring mountain top. Light burned through his eyelids.  
  
  
- Come to the top, Luffy. I¡¯ll be waiting.  
  
  
The straw hat weighed down on his frozen head. Scared eyes gazed up into that never-ending azure.  
  
I¡¯m coming, Shanks.  
  
  
  
To the top. There it will end.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
----------- 


End file.
